AND consciousness

We live in a world of conflict. Inner and outer conflict thrives and finds expression in various shapes or forms.

Conflict is a clash of opposing ideas, interests, or forces.

Conflict is not inherently wrong nor bad. In contrast, it’s natural. It’s an essential part of life. When viewed and treated as constructive and informative, it expands our consciousness and point of view and therefore helps with our mental and emotional evolution.

What is less beneficial- and potentially even disastrous to our evolution-, however, is how we usually react when faced with conflicting ideas or behavior, i.e., our "need to be right" or "prove ourselves". And that is sadly the most common approach to conflict in our society.

Simply, think about  your last conversation, the news you consume or even your inner dialogue.

Can you spot any type of conflict?

How do you (usually) react to a different (than what you deem to be "right" or "true") perspective, act or behavior? Do you get triggered, angry or defensive?

Do you try to "prove your point" or prove "them" wrong (even if only in your head)?

Do you raise your voice or speak louder so that you can override the opposite (or simply different) point of view?

Do you react during conflict with the conviction that "Afterall, you know better" or are you open to listen?- Both cannot happen at the same time-.

Do you often (try to) avoid conflict?

I am not you, yet I’d bet with high certainty -if not conviction- that your response would be "yes" in most of these questions and that your overall approach to conflict is based on a "me or you" mentality.

Inner mental and emotional conflict can also become quite intense, and here our approach is no different. It usually shows up when we're called to make decisions. From "whether I'll eat those potato chips tonight", all the way to "when or if I'll get married or have kids". Inner conflict stems from misaligned needs and beliefs within our own psyche. When our thoughts, words and actions are misaligned, inner conflict is on. That is exhausting to our nervous system because it puts us in a survival mode (flee, fight or freeze).

So, now, let me ask you this. If you continue to react to conflict in this way, does this serve your expansion and evolution or does it block it and turns you - an adult- into a stubborn little brat that the only thing they care about is either to shy away from any type of conflict or, face it head on with only intention to prove themselves right?

And you may think, "well what's wrong with wanting to  be right or get my message across? Isn't this what we all want and do?". And unfortunately, the answer to the latter would be, “yes”.

However, what's dysfunctional with this is that approaching conflict as something we either need to avoid or fight against, robs us from the opportunity to be open to learn, change, expand and ultimately find alternative routes, common ground or win-win scenario's whenever conflict shows up for us.

 What if, instead of approaching conflict with a "me or you" mentality, we'd approach it with openness and curiosity to listen and understand? Not necessarily to adopt or approve but rather to recognize its validity as a separate "truth" for someone or something.

This is the mindset of  "me and you" mentality.

This is the mindset and state of consciousness that sees conflict as opportunity for expansion, focuses on solutions instead of problems and creates "win-win" scenario's instead of zero sum games. This is the mindset that creates connections (within the self and with others)  based on unconditional love, respect, collaboration and compassion.

When operating from a mental space of "AND consciousness", the need to be right or prove yourself has no purpose anymore. The only thing that remains is information that will ultimately bring you closer and connect you with your own personal truth.

Staying open during conflict  and approaching it with a curiosity mindset instead of a warrior mindset doesn't come natural nor feels easy in practice, -I know that first hand.- And the reason that it doesn't feel easy is because it's not familiar. To make something familiar and eventually automatic is to practice it regularly with clear and conscious intention.

 Overriding old programming and ways of being, thinking and acting is not an easy task. For any change to become possible, we really need to be able to see the pain and dysfunction that an old (familiar) programming causes and the benefits the new one (yet unfamiliar) will offer, and even then, still make the conscious choice to make the necessary change. It requires effort, consistency and a lot of willingness.

Change is not easy, yet it is inevitable. “AND consciousness” is where we are heading towards for our evolution as a species and as a society. At this point in time, it remains a choice for all of us, and sadly many of us will not consciously decide to make this change. Enough of us, however, will. This new mentality and approach to conflict will sooner or later become the new norm simply because this is what serves and benefits our expansion and evolution.

And expansion is the way nature always chooses to follow, no-matter what.