Humanity lost in standardization
Sadness, deep rooted sadness…for the humanity that we could of have but we eventually lost…in expectations, standards, and general trends.
Tears are running down my eyes as I am writing this. They wanted to run all morning, yet I was not letting them. You see I was outside, in public- what people will say if they see me cry?- Still that stupid voice controlling my natural physiological instincts.
Earlier, I’ve watched a 6 year old screaming at the top of her lungs not wanting to go in the classroom with the teacher. Grabbing tightly on to her bigger sister as if she was her last chance for breath. And the teacher? He was unable to connect and empathize with her- simply giving directions to the big sister to come along with them. The 8 year old ‘bigger sister’ was taking on a role and a burden that was never supposed to be hers. But it has become…because others are not able to relieve her from it.
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This is our society…some things are acceptable and others are not. The question is, what do we consider to be acceptable? Should we reconsider those agreements?
Obviously, expressing your genuine emotions in public is listed under the unacceptable behaviors- at least for an adult-. Why? Because it makes others feel uncomfortable. An adult is therefore expected to have control over and don’t show their true emotions in public. ‘Do not disturb the balance (of others) or else you’ll not be accepted’…that’s the message. That’s all that matters…for the societal system. And so, most of us, we’ve successfully adapted our physiology to those standards. Even if that’s to our own detriment.
We’ve adapted so well that we are many times unable to respond with compassion and empathy towards someone that is struggling when their behavior doesn’t meet our societal standards and expectations.
For example, it will be easier for us to empathize and remain calm and patient with a 3 year old while acting out but we will be unable to do so (at least for the same duration) with a 9 year old or an adult. Why? Because we hold different standards and expectations -as a society- for different age groups.
Only, we forget that at any age we remain humans with emotions we need (for our health) to be allowed to feel, experience and express without being judged or rejected because of them.
Societal expectations that result in emotional suppression is one of the most detrimental factors for our health*. What we consider to be normal is many times unnatural, not compatible to our human nature!
It is time we question, reset and recalibrate those ‘societal agreements’ to serve our human nature rather than the other way around. And the fastest way to do that is by explore our own beliefs and expectations. Our inner world first. What we’ve adopted as ‘the norm’.
Let’s stop taking things for granted just because society or your immediate circle or even your own expectation ‘says so’. Know that these are all learned mental programs, old patterns, old outdated societal agreements. Not absolute truths.
Let’s reclaim our lost humanity and co-create new foundations for humanly- compatible societies.
*Physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté presents his extensive research on how emotional suppression is linked with addiction and autoimmune disease in his book ‘The Myth of Normal’. I strongly recommend this read to everyone that want to understand the deeper cause of psychosomatic symptoms.
