It all starts with expressing yourself.
It’s not a matter of doing it right, or avoiding doing it wrong- in either case you’ve missed the point-.
In a world that has more (point of) views about who you are than you, all of us have more or less missed the point. We’ve all got wrapped up in the pointless seek for external definitions about who we are, why we are here, what we have to offer to be considered useful, valuable, accepted, chosen.
We’ve all given away the power to the world outside of us to define what is true for us. What we need to believe in, what to want and desire, what to value, accept or reject.
This is no news to you, I am afraid, yet what concerns me the most is that you’ve come in terms with this fact and you’ve given up any attempt to shift that ‘reality’ for you.
The world is more than happy to define everything for you, yet those definitions arrive and bombard us from every corner of the world nowadays, while a few decades back, that was only a privilege of your immediate circle and local community.
On one hand, of course, exposure to the global community opens up more opportunities to meet and become familiar with knowledge, options, opportunities and point of views that you would possibly never had the chance to know about before. On the other hand however, this expanded exposure has also opened up a new level of external definitions, values, beliefs, ways to see the world than ever before.
Where did this all started?
As children, we’ve all learned to hetero-define, meaning, we’ve looked at the way others perceived us to create our own self-image. That’s normal developmental children’s behavior. Nothing to be ashamed for.
Sadly, during that phase, most of us received and registered a skewed or distorted self-image simply because, the people around us could not see, accept or validate us in our wholeness. They would validate and accept certain parts of ourselves or reject, punish or diminish us for other parts, based on their own values, beliefs, upbringing, etc.
As a result, we’ve internalized that and we also accepted and rejected the same parts based on the feedback we’d receive from the people around us. Unless we become aware of this and decide to shift that within us during adolescence and early adulthood, we’ll keep looking outside of us to reflect back to us, and decide for us, who we are.
A mature person and healthy adult, would realize that this is deeply dysfunctional and dive deep within themselves to identify and reclaim their rejected parts, explore and question their beliefs, identify their core values and ultimately clarify and decide who they truly are.
True maturity as well as deep inner freedom starts with expressing your true, whole, raw, unique self.
By looking at our society, or by simply observing ourselves, we’ll see that this inner shift from external mirrors to inner truth is rarely the case. Instead, most of us continue hetero-define as adults, even when we are consciously aware of this.
So, why don’t we shift?
What stops you or me from moving towards becoming healthy and reaching maturity, in that sense?
What stops us from reclaiming our own power, identify false narratives, restore inner balance by connecting to to our truth and ultimately express whatever or however WE want to express in this world?
The key here is that maturity is not an automatic developmental stage of the human nature.
Maturity is optional. It’s in fact a conscious choice.
Maturity is not initiated from the body/mind, but from our soul. It’s a spiritual invitation to realign with your true essence, your spirit. It’s not a mandatory process.
Maturity does not come by default with adulthood. Maturity implies alignment with your true essence, your spirit. maturity also implies wisdom. The wisdom that is derived through lived experience.
Why does all this even matter?
In today’s world more and more people struggle to find meaning in their lives, because they live lives that they don’t feel theirs. On top of that they compare their lives to others constantly reinforcing false narratives like, ‘ I am not enough’ or ‘I am lacking something’.
As a result depression, substance use, disconnection from the self and others, destructive behaviors, apathy and so much more have exponentially increased.
Yet, true meaning (our own individual meaning) can only be found when we integrate every aspect of ourself- ‘good’ or ‘bad’- and fully start expressing ourselves in alignment with our own unique essence.
When we know yourself, we allow our heart to lead and our mind to follow.
That’s freedom. That’s power.
Take care,
Eleni
